Jabobber Hockey

Let me start by telling you what it is not. A “jabobber” is not a Jamaican bobsledder. Unfortunately, this only moves us slightly closer to a definition. In fact, I am not sure I can provide an airtight definition of the term. So let me start by telling you a story.

Imagine this. You are 14 years old playing U16 hockey at the Tier II level. There are high expectations for your team, but about halfway through the season you and your teammates have yet to find form. The regional tournament is fast approaching. You guys need to right the ship before heading into regionals if you have any chance of moving along to the National Championships.

You are going up against a local rival. Everyone can sense that a victory in no uncertain terms is needed. But, true to form, the first intermission comes, and you and the boys are losing to a team that has no right to end your season early. The head coach walks into the locker room. He is, and pardon my french, not happy.

He proceeds to shout the following: “What the hell is going on out there? You guys look like you could give two (you know whats) about this game. Do you even freaking (except he didn’t say freaking) know what’s at stake here? You want the chance to go to Nationals, right?”

He pauses to catch his breath You look around at your boys with your head down, no one wanting to make eye contact with coach for fear he will continue his barrage on you. The worst part is, you all know he is right. His message is resonating, and you start to feel the fire in your belly stir. You want to prove him wrong and right at the same time. You build up the courage to look up.

“And these guys can’t even (you know what-ing) skate!” Your coach continues with renewed anger. “Have you seen that defenseman out there? Number twelve? Hello! Jabobber!”

What did he just say? Jabobber? What the heck is a jabobber? You look around to see how the boys are reacting. Bewilderment crosses their faces along with stifled laughter. You realize no one has any idea what a jabobber is. None of you have ever heard anything remotely like it. All you know is your coach clearly doesn’t think number twelve is good. Trying not to laugh, you put your head back down. Your coach finishes his tirade and storms out.

The door slames behind him. Everyone asks, “What did he call that kid? A jabobber? You know what that means?” “No clue man.” You all laugh a little, and the tension diffuses. Coach’s yelling works. Your team goes on to win the game, to win regionals, and, ultimately, to win a National Championship. And every single opponent along the way was a jabobber.

This story is a true story. I share it from my own experience on the U16 Chesterfield Falcons team in 2012. That year, the term jabobber was born. All the boys used it, even if we didn’t quite know what it meant. We sure as heck knew one when we saw one though. I never want to know what my coach meant. I never asked. I have, ever since though, owned that name.

When I started this website, “Jabobber Hockey” was the obvious choice. It only seemed right. I have used it for nearly every username I’ve needed. No one ever knows what it means, and the only time I’ve come across the name was when I tried to create a Twitch profile–a Jamaican bobsledder had already claimed it. But, like I said earlier, I don’t think that was what my coach meant.

So, I present to you, Jabobber Hockey. Join me in the wonderful journey of following the National Hockey League season. Become a jabobber.